Implementing Vulnerability: Practicing Positive Communication

Implementing Vulnerability: Practicing Positive Communication Implementing Vulnerability: Practicing Positive Communication

Problems can arise in conversation. That's when emotions, expectations, and opinions clash. Everybody sees the world in a different way.

There is no way for others to understand what we are thinking at any given moment. We can be protective and keep our thoughts hidden, which may have value at times. We may also choose to be vulnerable and express our true feelings. Vulnerability can be scary as it puts our unhindered intentions, fears, and emotions on display. At the same time, displaying vulnerability can be tremendously helpful. The ability to share raw emotions allows the people around you to empathize. It's this empathy that allows our relationships to develop because everyone likes to feel heard and understood.

Four pillars of vulnerable communication to practice.

You matter

Learning to express your needs is the foundation of good communication. Brushing aside or pushing past feelings in the moment can cause frustration for you and your partner in the long run. It is important to remember that your needs are always valid. Talk about feelings that are important to you when you are in a calm state before tensions build. This type of self-care puts you first which in turn allows you to fully be there for the other person.

Own your mistakes


Mistakes are a part of life. Admitting your faults is a conscious decision to learn and grow. It can feel scary to talk about our wrongdoings, but often having the courage to be honest can inspire others to be open about their mistakes. Transparency is a vulnerability that creates genuine interactions that benefit everyone.

Use Detail

Don't be afraid to really describe what you are feeling. If you speak in generalities, it could be easy for the other person to miss what you are saying. By using words like need, feel or want and utilizing full sentences, we keep the focus on communicating our feelings. We want to paint a clear image of what our intentions truly are. 

Be responsible

Be responsible with the power of vulnerability. Being honest and raw is a way to express our needs. We want to use this honesty to deepen relationships. We do not want to sprinkle people with insults and accusations. Vulnerability is not a way to freely tell people what we don't like about them. Often when conversations are tense, our words lose meaning and vulnerability can take on a toxic appearance. Stick with your own thoughts and feelings rather than what the other person is doing wrong. We also need to understand that vulnerability is not a free pass to tell everyone our deepest emotions. Vulnerability is a way to build connections, not a way to solicit a desired response.

We can all sense if someone is being honest with us. When we feel distance it's hard to connect. Vulnerability is the bridge that welcomes others into an authentic relationship with us. It takes courage, but it fuels empathy and builds trust. By practicing these four pillars of vulnerability, we can improve our communication, bringing new depth into our relationships.

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