Incorporating Positive Psychology into Parenting: A Brief Introduction to Raising Resilient and Happy Children

Positive psychology is a field of psychology founded by Dr. Martin Seligman and was developed as a counter to more ‘traditional’ psychological approaches that studied human personality and behavior.

Seligman felt these other traditional approaches focused too much on challenges to human development, abnormal development, and ‘what goes wrong’ for people. Seligman’s aim in developing positive psychology was to refocus the field and emphasize studying and working with people’s strengths, cultivating well-being, and promoting positive emotions (Such as happiness, joy, love, and awe).

Since Seligman developed the field decades ago, Positive psychology has taken off, influencing multiple areas of life, including education, therapy, medicine, and parenting. When applied to parenting, positive psychology offers strategies that parents and caregivers can implement to nurture children in a way that fosters resilience, confidence, and an ability to thrive. By focusing on strengths rather than weaknesses and encouraging optimism, parents can help their children develop a positive mindset that benefits them throughout life. Below are some sample ideas to help incorporate positive psychology into your everyday parenting.

1. Foster Strength-Based Development
Rather than focusing on correcting weaknesses or deficits, positive psychology encourages identifying and developing children’s strengths. Parents can observe what their child enjoys and excels at, then provide opportunities to cultivate these abilities. Whether it's creativity, leadership, kindness, or problem-solving, reinforcing strengths builds confidence and motivation in children.
How to Apply:
• Praise efforts and strengths rather than just outcomes (e.g., "I love how determined you were while solving that puzzle!"). This allows for children to associate reward and praise with their internal traits, or through their putting in effort, rather than actual success or failure (‘I feel good when I put in effort’ vs. ‘I feel good when I succeed’).
• Provide opportunities for children to practice and grow their strengths through hobbies and activities. If they are artistic, sign them up for art classes. If they are athletic, enroll them in sports.

2. Cultivate Gratitude
Positive psychologists have found multiple associations between children (and parents!) who are able to express and reflect on gratitude in their life, and lower levels of stress, better self-esteem, and improved self-efficacy. Also, encouraging children to focus on what they appreciate helps them develop a positive outlook on life and an appreciation of what they have.
How to Apply:
• Create a daily gratitude ritual, such as sharing three things they are thankful for at dinner or before bed. Other rituals can include sharing moments from a gratitude journal, engaging in a meditation practice to help develop feelings of gratitude (You can find many Gratitude Meditations for adults and kids on Youtube!)
• Model gratitude by expressing appreciation for small moments in daily life. Share moments of your own day you are thankful for or show your child how to express gratitude to people in your life.

3. Encourage a Growth Mindset
Growth mindset has been talked before on this blog. (You can find the article here.) Growth mindset describes the belief that one’s abilities, skills, and intelligence can be developed with effort and perseverance. This perspective has been found to play a significant role in children’s development of self-esteem and self-efficacy and is related to a higher tolerance of setbacks and frustration. Many of these techniques listed below can be found in more detail in our prior article.
How to Apply:
• Help your child learn Use phrases like "You worked really hard on that!" instead of "You're so smart!" to emphasize effort over innate talent.
• Teach your child that although mistakes or failures can be sad or unfortunate, they are valuable learning opportunities. You can do this by asking your child what they learned from this mistake or discussing with them what they can improve next time.
• Foster a Love of Learning. Provide opportunities for your child to try new activities, take on challenges that interest them, and allow them opportunities to see their own abilities and skills grow.

4. Promote Mindfulness and Emotional Regulation
Mindfulness describes a mental practice that helps people stay in the present moment, be aware of their thoughts and feelings, and cultivate a nonjudgmental attitude. Mindfulness has been found to promote both lower stress, depression, and anxiety, but also promote emotional regulation (the ability to identify, express, and cope with emotions productively) and resilience.
How to Apply:
• Practice simple mindfulness exercises, such as deep breathing or guided imagery. Many books on mindful parenting offer exercises. Additionally, child health centers and online resources could give you guided exercises you and your child could practice together.
• Regularly encourage your child to explore their emotions (both positive and negative) through discussion, journaling, or other mindfulness exercises. In these exercises and discussions, encourage your child to identify new ways to express or cope with these emotions in the future.

By integrating principles of positive psychology into parenting, parents can help their children build confidence, resilience, and a lifelong sense of well-being. The goal is not to shield children from adversity but to equip them with the tools to navigate life with optimism, strength, and a deep appreciation for the good around them. With intentional effort, parents can create a nurturing environment where children thrive emotionally, socially, and mentally.

If you are interested in reading more about Positive Psychology and parenting, this writer recommends reading The Optimistic Child by Martin Seligman as an informative and accessible introduction to the material. Additionally, if you would like to consult with a member of our team about ways to promote positive psychology in your household, please reach out to us for a consultation.